Very Horny Girl.rar
Now rite thar, boys, he over-did the thing, ef actinhoss tu the scribe wer what he wer arter; fur thars narahoss ever foaldid durned fool enuf tu lope over enysich place; a cussed muel mout a dun hit, but dadwarn't actin muel, tho' he orter tuck that karacter; hitsadzactly sooted tu his dispersition, all but not breedin.I crept up to the aidge, an' peep'd over. Thar werdad's bald hed fur all the yeath like a peeled inyin, abobbin up an' down an' aroun, an' the ho'nets sailinroun tuckey buzzard fashun, an' every onst in awhile one, an' sum times ten, wud take a dip at dad'sbald head. He kep' up a rite peart dodgin onder, sumtimesafore they hit im, an' sumtimes arterard, an' thewarter wer kivered wif drownded ball ho'nets. Tulook at hit frum the top ove the bluff, hit wer pow'fulinturestin, an' sorter funny; I wer on the bluff myse'f,mine yu.
very horny girl.rar
Every jump she made, she jerk't that misfortinatdorg six foot upard, an' thurty foot onward. Sumtimeshe lit on his starn, sumtimes on his snout, then ontubof ainds at wunst. He changed sides every utherlunge, clar over Stilyards, an' his hour-mill tu. Hesed O! Outch! every time he lit, in houn talk loudenuff tu sheer the devil. An the road wer sprinkledworm fence fashun, like ontu a drunken man a-totin aleaky jug.
The durn'd ole clock, hit got exhited too, an' los'control ove hits sef, an' furgot to stop, but jis scizzedan' whang'd away strait along, an' the mar a hearin hitall, an' a b'levin the soun' tu be cumin nigher tu herinards every pop. She thort, too, that four hundredblack an' tan houn' dorgs wer cumpassin her etarnalruin.
THIS kash wil be pade in korn, ur uther projuce, tube kolected at ur about nex camp-meetin, ur thararter, by eny wun what ketches him, fur the karkus ove asartin wun SUT LOVINGOOD, dead ur alive, ur ailin,an' safely giv over tu the purtectin care ove ParsonJohn Bullin, ur lef' well tied, at Squire Mackjunkins,fur the raisin ove the devil pussonely, an' permiskuslydiscumfurtin the wimen very powerful, an' skeerin ovefolks generly a heap, an' bustin up a promisin, bigwarm meetin, an' a makin the wickid larf, an' wus, an'wus, insultin ove the passun orful.
I found written copies of the above highly intelligibleand vindictive proclamation, stuck up on everyblacksmith shop, doggery, and store door, in the FrogMountain Range. Its blood-thirsty spirit, its style, andabove all, its chirography, interested me to the extentof taking one down from a tree for preservation.
Well, that nite the Court Hous wer plum full;everybody wer thar, sceptin Lum Jones, an' he werhid out frum the Free Masons. Bake sot ahine thelecterin-mersheen, to read frum the paper tu him whenhe furgot what wer in hit. Thar wer fotch intu theyard, clost to the winder whar they wer a-standin, a olebrass canyon full tu the muzzle, wif powder an' redclay. Up in the lof by a trap door, an' plum over thefeller's hed, sot Joe Jacksin, a-holdin ontu a half barrilfull ove warter outen a puddil, whar a misfortinat deadsow hed been floatin fur ten days.
Well, they went tu nite meetin an' lef him in thekitchin fas' asleep, belevin tu fine him right thar whenthey cum back; but they wer mistaken'd that pop, furwhen they cum they foun the widest awake boy everborn'd in that ur eny uther house, ur outen doors either,an' es tu bein rite thar he warn't by a durn'd site; hewer here, thar, an' every whar, et the same time, an' efhe hed any apertite fur vittils jis' then, he didn't hangout his sign, that I cud see.
I screw'd ontu each ove his years a par ove iron hanvices,what his dad squeezed ole clocks, an crac't warnutswit, an' they hung down like over-grow'd yearrings;I tied a gridiron to wun ankil, an' a par ovefire-tongs tu tuther; I pour'd a bottil ove groun redpepperdown his back, onder his shut; I turn'd loose apint ove June-bugs, what I kotch apupus, intu his buzzum,an' buttoned em up; I tied a baskit full ove firecrakers tu the cheer back, tu his har, an' tu his wrists;I button'd up a big grey-whisker'd aggravated ole rat,tied wif a string intu the slack ove his britches; tuthersend ove the string wer fas' ontu his gallus button, anthe rat, like all the res' ove that tribe, imejuntly sot incuttin his way out; but owin to his parvarse nater urthe darkness ove the place, he sot in tu cuttin the wrongway; he wer a workin towards the back-bone, an' furderfrum the britches, every cut. I learnt this fac'from the cheer risin frum the flure, an' fallin agin jis'tu rise imejuntly a littil higher, an' sum souns, a mixtryove snort, snore, grunt, an' groan, which he wer beginin tu isoo tolabil fas', an' gettin louder every bounceove the cheer, an' becumin more like ontu a howl everypop. In the beginin ove his oneasines he dream'd ovewagin whip, nex' he dream'd ove a tea-kittil es big es astill, an' lots ove bilin wartar, an' nex he drempt ovebof ove 'em; an' now he wer a dreamin that the tea-kittilwer a steam ingine, a drivin the waggin whip, an'a cottin gin wif red hot saws fifteen hundred licks aminis, an' that he wer in the cottin hopper.
I now thot hit ni ontu the proper time tu tetch thecrackers, so es tu hev everything bar hits shar in thekontemplated cummin waknin. An' I did hit. Thefust handful ur so gwine off help'd, wif the industry ovethat energetic ole rat, the sarchin ove the red pepper, an'the permiskus scratchin roun ove the bugs, tu begin tuwake him sorter gradully, a littil faster nor light breadrises, an' a littil slower then a yeathquake wakes-weazels.A few hundred more gwine off, still hevin therat, pepper, an' insex tu back em, got him wide enufawake tu bleve that he wer threatened wif sum orfulpussonal calamerty, what wanted pow'ful quick workon his part tu dodge. He wer awake now all overeven to his durnd ole hat, an' he show'd hit in es menyways es a cat dus, lock'd up in a empty room wif astrange an' interprisin big dorg.
When I'se in trubbil, skeer, ur tormint, I dus butwun thing, an' that's onresistabil, onekeled, an' durn'dfas' runnin, an' I jis' keeps at hit till I gits cumfort.Now his big idear onder nise an' varigated hurtin werto fite, an' keep on a-fitin, ontil peace ove mine cum.I never seed sich keryins on in all my born'd days.He made more fuss, hit more licks at more things, werin more places, an' in more shapes, in a shorter time,then eny mortal auctioneer cud tell ef he hed es menytungs es a baskit full ove buckils. Every now an' thenhe'd gin his head a vishus, vigrus shake, an' the hanviceswud hit him fore an' arter, till his skull rattiledlike ontu a ole gourd.
The ole Skissim an' his tribe cum home from meetin,an' hearin the onyeathly riot, thort sumbody hedopened a dorggery in thar kitchen, an' that a neighborhoodfite wer gwine on, an' every feller's dorg along.They rushed in tu drive out the crowd, an' capter thewhisky, an' a durnder more misfortinit mistake neverwer made by a man, 'oman, an' a string ove fifteenbrats, since ole Bill Shivers went fur a runnin threshin-meesheen tu smash hit, thinkin hit wer a big musick-box.
The neighbors wer a-getherin in roun the nise an'rumpus, an' not a durn'd wun hed the least idear ovewhat wer wrong, sceptin ove me. I onderstood hit all,durn'd fool es I is. Tu 'scape from bein 'spishioned, Isot in tu cuttin the cheer loose es I got chances, an'a-keepin outen the range ove that flyin fire shovil, fur hitwer still spreadin hurtin an' mischief on a perpetulmoshun plan. Everybody hit totch fell, an' everythinghit cum agin got grief. The tin buckits look'd likedrunk men's hats. Pails hed lef' thar hoops, an' thedelf war was in scrimpshuns. When he got divorcedfrom the cheer, I tho't he'd sorter simmer down. Butno sir! He got wus, an' did his work faster an better;he wer as crazy as a bed-bug, an' as savidge as a mad-dorg.
By the time I got dun inlitenin the widder, that aronquinchable boy hed the kitchen all tu hissef. Everybodywer feard tu go ni the door. Now yu cudentguess in ten year what he then went an' did. He jis'made a piller outen the cheer, an' sot intu sleepin agin.Ef ever I'se call'd on tu stop his sleepin eny more agin,I'll try a muskit an' sixteen buckshot, at jis' about tensteps.
Music; the rushin warter dus make music; so dusthe wind, an' the fire in the mountin, an' hit gin me anoneasy queerness agin; but every time I look'd at thatgal Sicily Burns, I hed all the feelins mix'd up, ove thelitenin, the river, an' the snake, wif a totch ove thequicksilver sensashun a huntin thru all my veins furmy ticklish place.
Then she pour'd 'bout ten blue papers ove thefizilin powder intu a great big tumbler, an' es menywhite papers intu anuther, an' put ni ontu a pint ovewarter into bof on em, stir'd em up wif a case-nife, an'gritted a morsel ove nutmaig on top, the 'saitful shetorment lookin es solemn es a jasack in a snow storm,when the fodder gin out. She hilt wun, an' tole me tudrink tuther. I swaller'd hit at wun run; tasted sortersalty like, but I tho't hit wer part ove the sensashun.But I wer slitely mistaken'd; hit wer yet tu cum, an'warn't long 'bout hit, hoss, better b'leve. Ternally durnall sensashuns ove every spot an' stripe! I say. Thenshe gin me tuther, an' I sent hit a chasin the fus' instalmintto the sag ove my paunch, race-hoss way. Yusee I'd got the idear onder my har that hit wer luv-powders,an' I'd swaller'd the devil red hot frum home,a-thinkin that. Luv-powders frum her! jis' think ove hit yerse'f solemnly a minit, an' sit still ef yu kin.
Now, George, ef yu knows the nater ove a cowbrute, they is the durndes' fools amung all the beastes,('scept the Lovingoods;) when they gits intu tribulashun,they knows muffin but tu shot thar eyes, beller,an' back, an' keep a-backin. Well, when ole Sockraised his head an' foun hissef in darkness, he jis'twisted up his tail, snorted the shatter'd co'n outen thebaskit, an' made a tremenjus lunge agin the hous'. Ihearn the picters a-hangin agin the wall on the insidea-fallin. He fotch a deep loud rusty beller, mout beenhearn a mile, an' then sot intu a onendin sistem ovebackin. A big craw-fish wif a hungry coon a-reachinfur him, wer jis' nowhar. Fust agin one thing, thenover anuther, an' at las' agin the bee-bainch, knockinhit an' a dozen stan ove bees heads over heels, an' thenstompin back'ards thru the mess. Hit haint much wufwhile tu tell what the bees did, ur how soon they sotintu duin hit. They am pow'ful quick-tempered littilcritters, enyhow. The air wer dark wif 'em, an' Sockwer kivered all over, frum snout tu tail, so clost yucudent a-sot down a grain ove wheat fur bees, an' theywer a-fitin one anuther in the air, fur a place on thebull. The hous' stood on sidelin groun, an' the backdoor wer even wif hit. So Sock happen tu hit hitplum, jis' backed intu the hous' onder 'bout two hundredan' fifty pouns ove steam, bawlin orful, an' everysnort he fotch he snorted away a quart ove bees ofenhis sweaty snout. He wer the leader ove the bigges'an' the madest army ove bees in the worild. Thar werat leas' five solid bushels ove 'em. They hed filled thebaskit, an' hed lodged ontu his tail, ten deep, ontil hitwer es thick es a waggin tung. He hed hit stuck straitup in the air, an' hit looked adzackly like a dead pinekivered wif ivey. I think he wer the hottes' and wushurtin bull then livin; his temper, too, seemed tu bepow'fully flustrated. Ove all the durn'd times an' kerryinson yu ever hearn tell on wer thar an' thar abouts.He cum tail fust agin the ole two story Dutch clock, an'fotch hit, bustin hits runnin geer outen hit, the littilwheels a-trundlin over the floor, an' the bees evenchasin them. Nex pass, he fotch up agin the foot ovea big dubbil injine bedstead, rarin hit on aind, an'punchin one ove the posts thru a glass winder. Thenex tail fus' experdishun wer made aginst the caticorner'dcupboard, outen which he made a perfeckmomox. Fus' he upsot hit, smashin in the glass doors,an' then jis' sot in an' stomp'd everything on the shelvesintu giblits, a-tryin tu back furder in that direckshun,an' tu git the bees ofen his laigs. 041b061a72